Hope: A tribute from Hope's Father

 “I remember every appointment and ultrasound of our little girl, especially the 20 week, and hearing every parents worst fear ‘we noticed something on the ultrasound.’ As a dad, newly finding out the gender, and that she has a cleft lip is a horrifying feeling; knowing how vain the world can be, and knowing your little girl is going to have a “deformity” on her face of all places and could unfortunately be the target of bullies because of the scarring post repair, and knowing all you can do is to hold, love, and try to comfort her if that happens, sucks. 

Some days we’re content and realize that in the grand scheme of things, this isn’t a huge deal, others(like last night) I’m not ashamed to say I cried like a baby at reading more about the process and being angry at god, the universe, whatever for making it so our little girl has to fight from such a young age and doesn’t have the dream easy start to life, (yes even grown men who have been in blue collar trade jobs their entire life are allowed, and should cry and feel every emotion, they’re so valid).                                                                

We chose her name, based on a few things. Hope is my wife’s middle name, and as a dad and husband I hope every day she grows up to be just like her and at times, we could all use a little hope. And when I tell you all the fears and sadness go away when I look into her eyes and see that she’s already a fighter, and will overcome this with grace, and beauty, and strength, it is so inspiring (crazy a newborn can invoke all that, I know). 

New parents, with babies with clefts, other birth “defects” — feel the feelings, celebrate the wins, lean on your partner or support circle when your struggling (do not be afraid to ask for help, or someone to listen to your fears) and don’t hide your baby away, we chose to have her newborn photos done and to share them, not for clout, or for pity, but to show the world the beauty in every baby, and to take the stigma away. The sooner we get rid of stigmas the better this world will be."